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Have you ever been a victim of a stereotype or bias at work?
I have. And I’ll tell you this for free…it hurts. We have all been trained to learn to accept feedback graciously at work but what if the feedback is personal? What if you know deep down that this person would not have said this to you if you were a different person or in a different situation? What if you are being gaslighted and attacked under the guise of feedback?
For the month of March, we thought deeply about our core feature and message for our community members. When I realized that the theme for IWD 2022 was #BreakTheBias, I knew we had to talk about stereotypes and workplace bias.
A few courageous folks came forward to share their stories anonymously.
I WAS SHAMED AT WORK BECAUSE MY BOSSES AND COLLEAGUES FELT LIKE I DIDN’T DESERVE THE JOB ‘COS I GOT IT THROUGH MY DAD’S CONNECTIONS…
First off, it’s not as if my parents are rich oh! They are just comfortable and gave me and my siblings a very comfortable life. So When you see me, it’s kind of obvious that I never really know wetin sapa mean. So I started a full-time job using one of my daddys’ connections but they were very hesitant to accept me fully in the organization because they thought I was ‘bóti’ (pampered kid) and I would be a liability to them. Some of my colleagues and bosses even subtly shaded me for this.
But to the glory of God and shame of the devil (lol)! I kept hitting all my targets throughout my 3 months probationary period. My bosses had to commend me and apologize for the initial bias they had about me.
Anonymous Career Buddy Member
Nike would complain to everyone that passed by about how my shirt was too colorful, how I was wearing half-bra and my boobs were jiggly as I walked, how my butt keeps shaking while walking…
I work with a Big4 Consulting Firm (KPMG). From the minute I joined my unit, my Associate Director harassed me daily till my sub-unit was eventually moved to another Division.
Nike would complain to everyone that passed by about how my shirt was too colorful, how I was wearing half-bra and my boobs were jiggly as I walked, how my butt keeps shaking while walking, how she didn’t think I was wearing pants, etc. I had different people walk up to me each day to ask what I did to herM ‘cos it seemed her complaints were personal. In all of these, she never for once had a personal discussion with me. She would see me and smile and even compliment my dressing, then go behind my back to “report” me to my seniors and performance manager.
The last straw for me was when she complained during my evaluation about me wearing a “butterfly” styled dress and how it was unacceptable. This was a dress that another manager had the exact style and nobody complained. I matched down to HR wearing the same dress to ask if it was inappropriate and they said there was nothing wrong with it. They then suggested that there was a possibility I offended her and she was just taking it out on me. Imagine the response from the HR department!!!! I saw hell for almost 3 years until my sub-unit was moved to another division.
Every day I wake up now, I’m glad we’re working virtually, and most importantly, that she no longer oversees my unit.
Anonymous Career Buddy Member
NO COMPANY WILL THRIVE WITHOUT CUSTOMER SUPPORT. LET’S STOP ACTING LIKE FOLKS WORKING IN CUSTOMER SUCCESS ARE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS OR DROP-OUTS
I work in a company that thinks folks in customer success are second class. They have this mentality that the role is as easy as abcd and folks who do it do the barest minimum and are mostly underpaid. Sentiments set in during review or a policy review, we’re the last to get remuneration or anything like that. This bias doesn’t just end with the management team but also with colleagues alike. They act out like you’re a school dropout and it’s a sad feeling not knowing that just like any other job role, CS is one of the hardest being that they’re at the war front speaking and communicating with disgruntled customers and trying to get their issues resolved in the expected resolution time. Well, no company will thrive without customer service but they’re poorly treated and underpaid.
Anonymous Career Buddy Member.
MY COLLEAGUES AND BOSS STARTED TREATING ME DIFFERENTLY ALL BECAUSE I GOT MARRIED…
I remember sometime last year when I got stereotyped because I was going to be married. Funny right? It all started the first quarter of the year and things were running smoothly and quickly on my end, my plans were “clicking” just as planned and I was very excited. I was going to be getting married to my best friend and with that excitement, I told my fellow work colleagues who were very happy for me, my friends, and family too.
It was getting pretty close to my day and I felt I had to tell my boss a month before just to prepare him for my time away and also to share my good news too. I made it to work on that good day with my plans to tell him and after the day went by and I broke the news to him, I was shocked at his response. He congratulated me but asked why I didn’t tell him before he hired me. I was shocked cause all that came to mind was do you think marriage will make me least productive or what? I had a heart-to-heart talk with him and he apologized but explained how shocked he was considering my age and all that.
I wouldn’t want to write more but after the marriage, things went on well at the office but I felt stereotyped as the ‘married woman’. Some conversations didn’t happen around me cause some people felt I am married now, you are not invited to some hangouts too which could be a good thing; but a workplace should be a neutral ground where people shouldn’t be judged by their age, status, religion or culture.
Women too shouldn’t be stereotyped in any part of the world by thinking they can’t be any good or better after marriage.
Anonymous Career Buddy Member
I don’t get to do my duties as the HR because almost everyone is related to the Md or is the boss’s fave…
I’m the HR manager of a company so there’s this physical resource officer with a very bad attitude and she has books for exit and entry control ie. So one day, she left the office without notifying HR or even seeking permission; she just left for a few hours and came back. When she got back and was asked about her whereabouts, her reply was ‘no comment’ and so as the policy stated, I surcharged her.
The next week, I got called into the boss’s office and questioned for surcharging her. Like she really reported me to the boss and I’m like who does that? a whole HR?? So I explained and he said I should cancel the surcharge because he sent her on an errand, I’m like she should have just said so but instead, she responded with ‘no comment’. I was really annoyed tbh!!! I really hate this place I’ve spent barely 6months there, and it’s a really toxic environment with low pay. I don’t get to do my duties as the HR because almost everyone is related to Md or is the boss’s fave and it’s really annoying
I need to leave that place ASAP!!
Anonymous Career Buddy Member
Today is a good day to take a step back to think about the personal biases and stereotypes you have placed on your colleagues, employers, or employees due to their religion, status, or personal belief.
A workplace should be a neutral ground for individuals to be their best selves and apply their skills and experiences without fear or shame.
Have you ever experienced workplace shaming or bias? Do you have a different perspective on this topic? I’ll love to know your thoughts in the comments!
PS: Don’t forget to share!